Here’s Why We Should Also Celebrate Mums In Heaven On Mother's Day
By Cheryl Otieno
When babies begin babbling, “Ma” is often the first sound they vocalize. This may well be the reason why in many languages, the word for “Mother” begins with either the letter M, or an iteration of “Ma” sound.
As the world unites in celebrating Mother’s Day on 9th May, we can confidently share our top three predictions:
1. Single stem white roses and elegant floral bouquets will be dished out in abundance (yay to the floriculture industry and florists who will sweat it out behind the scenes as Mamas around the world embrace the beautiful aroma from nature given in love, and received with abundant joy)
2. There will be heightened activity on the virtual world and Google will carry the day as the search for ‘Mother’s Day card’ peaks throughout the weekend. Beautiful screenshots will be shared multiple times, as humanity congregates around a single mission – to extend “Happy Mother’s Day” wishes to mothers on our contact list and online communities.
3. There are people for whom the day will evoke painful emotions. Torn between reliving the heartache of losing a mother and celebrating the rich legacy of a mum in heaven, this year’s Mother’s Day will inadvertently become a painful day to trudge through.
Given that we are on a mission to rewrite the script and make Mother’s Day a significant and beautiful celebration, we have gone on overdrive to empower our readers, and hopefully cancel out our first two predictions above. Our third prediction is a very delicate topic. It is not made easy by the fact that the commercialization of Mother’s Day has overwhelmingly tilted the scales in favour of mothers on earth.
What many may not know is that Mother’s Day, first celebrated on 12th May 1907, was founded by Anna Jarvis, an American social activist and community organizer. Reeling from the pain of losing her own mother, and deeply touched by departed’s legacy, she organized a memorial service in her mother’s honour, and rallied the support of her nation’s leadership to have Mother’s Day adopted as an annual celebration, every second Sunday in the month of May. Today, Mother’s Day is celebrated all around the world, and is the third most popular holiday globally, after Christmas and Easter.
We sought out Mueni Wambua to gain a deeper perspective on Mother’s Day for Mums in heaven. Mueni wears many hats: she is an authenticity coach, a grief recovery counsellor, and a minister under the Nairobi Baptist Church. Our conversation with her brought out insightful perspectives on Mother’s Day, and we are delighted to let you in on part of our conversation with Mueni.
What is your most memorable Mother’s Day, and what is it that made the day stand out for you?
14th May 2006 was the most memorable one as it was the first one that I celebrated as a mum having had my son exactly a month earlier. I had been diagnosed with endometriosis in 2002 and I had been told that there is a great possibility that I may never be able to have a child. So, to hold my son was a miracle and a statement of the faithfulness of God.
Becoming a mum also gave me a new perspective of my own mum and I saw her in new light. I have profound respect for mums and what motherhood means. I can only summarise the intensity of the emotion with the quote that the day you become a mother is the day you start watching your heart walk outside of your body.
A lot of focus on Mother’s Day tends to be on mothers who are alive and present. Is it healthy to celebrate mothers who have passed on?
Mother’s Day is held in honor of all mothers – here on earth, and in heaven. We can celebrate our mothers and the memories we carry since we are because they were.
This day can be full of heartache because life only gives us one biological mother and the death of a mother is a watershed event in the life of many, there will always be a life before and a life after her demise.
And if to celebrate her on this day gives you comfort and has significance, by all means, go ahead and remember her in the best way you know how.
How can we celebrate mothers who have left us?
Grief is a very personal journey in which we grieve not over titles but over relationships.
Some of the ways we can celebrate mums that have left us is to live out the lessons we carry from their lives and express love to those around us in that way. For instance, if your mum was all about family unity, you can have time together as a family to remember her.
It is also important to acknowledge that sometimes relationships with mothers could have been strained or even broken when they were alive. In this case, while it may be easy to feel like there is nothing to celebrate about her, you can give yourself the gift of forgiving her and yes, still picking the lessons you can from her life even if it means learning what not to do or who not to become.
Bottomline, it is important to find a way to allow yourself to remember your mother in a manner that reflects the kind the relationship you had or even the one you wish you had with her. Do this in truth and love and kindness to yourself.
Our blog actively promotes outdoor living and encourages people to take excursions and enjoy quality time together. This is because we believe that outdoor living offers a 360- degree perspective on wholesome wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual). Is it possible to heal the pain of loss by taking part in solo or group-based outdoor activities?
Grief and loss and the emotions we experience demand expression and to deny these will have adverse effects on us. It is therefore imperative to find healthy ways to cope with our losses.
The outdoors are a liberating, healthy and generally affordable way to connect with ourselves and our loved ones. Picnics, exercising together, going for walks, hikes and even engaging in gardening are all ways that can nurture us and allow us to calm our minds when everything seems overwhelming. We can also find ways to support our loved ones in their time of loss in a ma
nner that does not endanger them or ourselves and yet it still communicates our love and presence. It is also a time to act in love, hope and faith and without obligation or condemnation.
We are running away with Mueni’s closing remarks: the outdoors are a liberating, healthy and generally affordable way to connect with ourselves and our loved ones. We encourage everyone to seek a healthy dose of outdoor living – and yes, let’s not leave out those who have gone before us as we celebrate mothers, mother-figures and motherhood.
You can reach Mueni Wambua on the following platforms:
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org | WhatsApp: +254764856489
Instagram: ms_authenticity | Facebook: Mueni Wambua | Twitter: @MueniWambua