I have been watching a lot of HONEY and it shows

Young, in college, your idea of a date is a mzinga and a pass by Sonford for the signature kuku chips as you hope the babe will be super impressed to the point she will finally agree to go watch that movie that has been lying on your laptop for weeks. Yes, you have watched it before, but hey, one has to make sure it is a good one first, right? After college, truth hits you hard. Dating is expensive in Nairobi, no matter what stage you are in. One has to be creative to keep chivalry alive.

It was February, a month people love and loathe in equal measure. I admit to not being the romantic - flowers and chocolates kind of dude, but with this babe, I had to try. “You look deep in thought” she breaks the silence. “Mmmh” I murmur. I'm just blankly staring at a family of monkeys. The notice at the entrance says ‘do not feed them', while the true warning should be just like the ones plastered everywhere mankind congregate, ‘Take care of your belongings'. After all, we share most of our DNA formation with them, always wanting to pinch on what is not ours. “You are an amazing cook,” she continues, wiping crumbs from the creases of her mouth having folded the balance of the feta samosas I had packed for our creative outing.

I smile with pride, offering to wipe away the non-existent crumbs she didn’t have left on her face. See I am not half a good cook but I have learnt quite some skills during the lockdown thanks to the pandemic. Between the internet and DStv, I am ready to earn my first Michelin star. My to go to channel for quick and easy ideas for indoor and outdoor hosting is HONEY.

I could spend a good chunk of my day just taking notes on how to elevate my hosting game. Just the other day I was shuffling through the channels when one caught my eye. A dude was on it, I knew of him from the social streets, and he was competing to have his recipe on the menu of a certain restaurant, ‘Making the Menu' they called it. And here, some homemade step by step plagiarised recipe had made me a cook. Nice. Back to the monkeys. They have scattered away now – I hope they leave us in peace. My mind wanders again. I marvel at the picnic set up – I am really getting good at this shot at creativity.

I bought a couple of accessories from Vintage Picnics and threw in a bit of my own pieces from the house. I could literally audition as an event organizer for this new show Patricia Kihoro is hosting on DStv. The one where more seasoned organizers put together dreamy set up worthy of popping. The big question. I stare into my picnic babe’s eyes and see satisfaction and hunger all at once. She wants another picnic soon. She says this without saying it. Time flies when you are having a good time. The sun is setting and we decide to take a walk home. We get home and slump on the sofa, habitually, I turn the telly on for some background noise and I am met by the most pressurizing image on TV for the moment. A guy is down on one knee. I had left the TV on my default channel 173 and Yes!Ndio!Beeni! was in the moment. The events on the telly got me asking myself if this was the girl I have been waiting for all this time.

DStv, I am ready to earn my first Michelin star. My to go to channel for quick and easy ideas for indoor and outdoor hosting is HONEY. I could spend a good chunk of my day just taking notes on how to elevate my hosting game.